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I remember it like it was yesterday. One afternoon in my university gym, when I probably should have been in a lecture or spreading E. Coli around a lab, I had just finished my third drop set of triceps pushdowns and I thought I was THE MAN. But immediately after I’d finished I turned around […]
If you really sit down for one moment and think about it, when you go to the gym you’re paying to enter a building and perform manual labour. I mean, if I asked you to spend an hour or so wheelbarrowing bricks or shovelling, you’d be looking to be rewarded in some way or another, […]
Peanut butter is one those foods where all restraint just goes out of the window. Confronted with a tub of peanut butter and a spoon, I’ll inevitably show the same level of self-control as a Premier League footballer on a stag weekend in Ibiza with a chemically-assisted erection. The problem with this, of course, is that traditional nut butters have […]
Finally summer can begin. With Euro 2016 finished, Europe’s richest racists and rapists can fuck off back to their gated mansions decked out in “tasteless twat” by Rocha John Rocha. Yes, now the actual greatest sporting event on earth can begin – the 2016 Olympic Games. Invented by the Ancient Greeks, who also invented homosexuality, […]
The gym is a microcosm of society: most people either (a) don’t have a clue what they’re doing or (b) are so egregiously annoying that you wouldn’t think twice about clubbing them to death with a cricket bat and feeding their remains into a sausage mincer. In most gyms, there will be a select few that […]